Definitley NOT the best bearded sportsman in the world

sun-jihai.jpgThe World of Beards caused controversy recently by suggesting that Sergio Batista was the world’s greatest bearded sportsman. We feel safe though in saying that Manchester City’s Sun Jihai is not in the running. In fact he doesn’t even have a beard.  Not yet anyway. We sent our resident newshound, Regy Growthestein to sniff out why China’s David Beckham may be bringing the beard into disrepute.

So the World of Beards has sent me to Manchester. I gotta tell ya I’ve never seen such a load of miserable looking limeys. And I can’t blame em. True Mancunians seem to follow Manchester City.  D’yer know what else I found out? “Manchester” United aint even in Manchester. No wonder my weirdy beardy compatriot Malcolm Glazer bought em. They’ll have no complaints when he packs Manchester Red Sox off to Floirda, they’re in little ol Salford right now anyhow.

Shoot, back to why I’m here. First off it was Wayne Rooney, now Man City’s Sun Jihai is in on the act. He’s insisting that he will not shave until he returns to the first team.

“I want to keep the beard until I play my first game,” He told me. “I don’t think it’s good for me. After I play the first game I will cut it off, and my hair as well to make me more handsome!”

Well my friend, from what I hear up here from my Manchester buddies we could be about to witness the growth of one of sport’s longest beards. Sun just aint cutting it – literally and not literally, he’s transcending literal – he just aint that good.  I’m betting he quits the game and hooks up with ZZ Top to boost their sales in the East.

All this talk of growing beards as a public statement of adversity is a terrible thing. We should be celebrating our face carpets, not using them as acts of inverse schardenfreude.

What do you think? Have you ever grown a beard as a vehicle of your own failure? Tell the World (of Beards).


7 Responses to Definitley NOT the best bearded sportsman in the world

  1. Whiskers Away says:

    Dear Sir,

    A cheap shot. I suspect you are abusing your powers as editor.

    I boycott the beard.


  2. Dore says:

    Ooh, bad karma. By using this wonderful site for cheap digs at football teams, I think you are taking your eye off the beard. The two teams inquestion are based almost exactly the same distance from Manchester city centre but on opposite sides. Shame on you.

  3. Larry says:

    I agree with Dore. I’ve got to say that I am a little dissapointed with this article. I’m a long time fan of ‘TWOB’ but am a little dismayed that Mr Growthstein (if that is his real name) has decided to hijack this respected forum in aid of what is at best a football rant. Keep it to the Hippo!

  4. Stubbled Out says:

    Great article Regy! really dig the way you have not even attempted to disguise a dig at Man Yoo but just put it in there for no reason!

    It sort of renders the rest of the article a bit pointless though… you might as well have just left all that out and written a longer article slagging off the reds.

    More of the same please… not really all that bothered about beards. you might want to change the web site name too – something like “Man City are ace let’s all slag off Man Yoo!

  5. Brian Blessed's Beard Trimings says:

    G’day mates

    thought i’d add my two cents worth to this. Not sure who these teams you are baracking for are or exactly where Manchester is but i think i speak on behalf of all the aussie WOB fans when i say fair dinkum fellas, lets get back to the beardy issues – we really don’t give a possum’s franga where your teams come from.

    So what do you say WOB? are you going to have a fair throw of the ‘rang and start covering beards again?


  6. Dore says:

    Oh yes, let’s get back to the beards. I think an article on beards in nature would be useful. Which creature has the best beard? Is a lion’s mane a beard or a mane? Why do I get embarrassed when I do a google image search on bearded clams? etc etc. How would we rate one creature’s beard against a totally different one? And at what point does the beard end and the pelt begin? World of beards – we have the questions, we just need answers.

  7. Dore says:

    On the same point, at what point does Noel Edmonds beard end and that sheep begin?

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